Wisegirls

Wisegirls

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DVD details

• DVD Details: Actors: Mira Sorvino, Mariah Carey, Melora Walters, Arthur J. Nascarella, Saul Stein
• Directors: David Anspaugh
• Format: Closed-captioned, Color, NTSC. Region: Region 1 (U.S. and Canada only)
• Aspect Ratio: 1.33:1; Number of discs: 1; Studio: Lions Gate
• DVD Release Date: December 31, 2002; Run Time: 96 minutes

DVD Reviews of Wisegirls

DVD Review: WISE GIRLS, STUPID AGENTS
Summary: 2 Stars

Fans of Mariah "Meltdown" Carey may be tempted to rent this in hope gaining some insight into the rumored-about, salt shaker-tossing catfight that erupted between her and Sorvino when the diva showed up late on the set for the umpteenth time. Watching this pastafoozeling silliness, you'll marvel at the fact that she showed up at all.

It's clear early on that no one involved in this opus knew what kind movie they were making. What starts out as a marinara-flavored 9 to 5 inevitably spirals into a Girl Power Good Fellas. (Forgive the tacky, Italian clichés but these here filmmakers already beat me to the punch.)

Wisegirls, an undercooked narrative lasagna, tells us the story of three waitresses: the surly, confident workhorse (Carey), the struggling, flibbertigibbet actress (Melora Walters), and the sensitive newcomer (Sorvino) who harbors a Terrible Secret and is looking for a Clean Start. They slave away in an upscale, "Family" eatery for exorbitant tips doled out by lecherous goombahs.

The unintentional laughs begin when a coked-out, thug hanger-on blows his nose off with his own pistol. (Anything to get out of this movie.) Sorvino stops the movie dead, announcing, "Back off! I went to medical school!" Just when you think it can't get any loopier, Sorvino saves the day by wrapping the guy's head in cellophane! You won't want to miss the sight of Carey squirming while having to prop open the goon's bloody nostrils with her fingers.

Naturally, the ladies bond after enjoying some working-girls-out-on-the-town antics. During one particular girlie rap session, Carey sips champagne with her pinky finger up and goads Sorvino's Terrible Secret out of her. I wouldn't dream of spoiling it for you but I do have to let one thing slip: you'll never look at carnival rides the same way again.

Try to stay awake to see hapless Sorvino finally Run Afoul Of The Mob. Our heroine is clocked after mouthing off to her drunken boss and one of her Guido admirers comes rushing to her defense, beating the jerk into a bloody manicotti. Now that she's Seen Too Much, Sorvino is forced to use her well-learned surgical skills on the disposing of the evidence. Held at gunpoint, she contemplates taking a bullet or gettin' busy with the hacksaw while she acts and acts and acts!

Stay tuned for another ridiculous surprise involving Walters' character (It makes her heretofore birdbrained performance somewhat forgivable) but I can't resist spoiling the biggest surprise of all: MARIAH CAREY IS THE BEST THING ABOUT THIS MOVIE. I'm still not sure why this is. Perhaps it's because she doesn't try as hard and simply coasts through the wreckage on her starpower while Sorvino and Walters are embarrassingly methody, toiling away as if they're making serious art.

So open a bottle of cheap Chianti, bask in the sleazy glow of this made-by-coke-money bonfire, and be prepared to hate yourself in the morning. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Description of Wisegirls