Underworld: Evolution (Widescreen Edition)
by Len Wiseman
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Actor: Bill Nighy, Derek Jacobi, Kate Beckinsale, Scott Speedman, Tony CurranDirector: Len Wiseman
Brand: SONY PICTURES HOME ENT
Writer: Len Wiseman
Producer: Danny McBride
Writer: Danny McBride
Producer: David Coatsworth
Producer: Gary Lucchesi
Producer: Henry Winterstern
Writer: Kevin Grevioux
DVD: Region Code 99
Audio: English (Subtitled); French (Subtitled); English (Original Language), Dolby Digital 5.1; French (Original Language), Dolby Digital 5.1; Hungarian (Original Language); French (Dubbed), Dolby Digital 5.1
Format: Closed-captioned, Color, Dolby, Dubbed, DVD, NTSC, Special Edition, Subtitled, Widescreen
Picture Format: Anamorphic Widescreen, 2.40:1
Running Time: 106 minutes
DVD Release Date: 2006-06-06
Audience Rating: R (Restricted)
Studio: Sony Pictures Home Entertainment
DVD Reviews of Underworld: Evolution (Widescreen Edition)
DVD Review: Insult to intelligence
Summary: 2 Stars
Once again, the public is presented with a movie that has a plot that a 5th grade school boy would scoff at. This movie is reminiscent of a George Bush speech, eg. when Kate Beckinsale said to "Marcus" the most "ancient" vampire, that "Victor" the other vampire leader had betrayed us all, what she really meant was, Victor had betrayed her. Just like George Bush claimed his war on "terror" in Iraq.
I guess the American public is growing dumber by the day with the pitiful education system, the lack of intelligent political leaders, and not to mention, poor literature. Gone are the days of the Kennedy's and the Hemmingways. The only film maker who did make a bit of sense in the past decade was a white trash guy who could never hold down a job, from Flint, Michigan (Farenheit 911 - Michael Moore).
Well, this movie works its way up from an equally lame prequel (if there is such a word) "Underworld", wherein shown is the rivalry between "lycans" (lycanthrope / werewolf) and vampires. Now that is such an important issue these days, pretty much overshadows global warming, loud mouthed texans and deforestation. And yes, its now "Lycans" for werewolves... derived from Lycanthorpe... Similar to the derivation of "Gonzo" from Gonorrhea. Sounds "cool" doesnt it? Well thats all we usually care about. Hey with a name like Gonzo even gonorrhea might become popular soon!
The movie itself makes fun of its basic idea, when one of the actors (Kate) scoffs at the story : the sons of Alexander Corvinus, the most ancient vampire, one (Marcus) was bitten by a bat to turn in to the first vampire, and the other (William) was bitten by a wolf to become the first Werewolf. Well, then they decided they couldnt find a better story line, and showing off Kate Beckinsale's body in a tight lycra suit was definitely much more important than bothering with a story line, so they stuck with this one.
Well, by now the discerning intelligentsia (if still surviving) can begin to understand how this movie would begin to unfold.
There is an attempt at Science, vampirism and Werewolvism (if there is a word like that), is explained by the fact that Alexander Corvinus had a superhuman immune system, so during the black plague, instead of killing him, the bacteria actually made him stronger and weirder. Now his descendant Michael Corvin has the same super immune system, and thus can be "infected" to create the first prototype of the Vampire Werewolf combo. Some jazz about DNA recombination, my girl friend, a maxilo-facial surgeon, laughed her head off!
Then there is a part about Marcus trying to free his brother William the lycan, Kate Beckinsale (Celine) and Michael trying to stop him, because William is a monster who will really harm "humanity".
Duh! Vampires trying to save humanity?????
It all doesnt really make sense. As I said, its all about rhetoric and BS, in short, a George Bush speech.
This movie is actually dangerous, if considered carefully. We dont lack stupid people in the world, especially in this country. We all know of perfectly normal people (in appearance, lack of common sense is not abnormal) aspiring to be vampires (or immortals - the new politically correct term - JESUS!!). These idiots cut each other up, drink blood and do a lot of other nonsense. A movie as this, which shows vampires to be "cool" is like providing fresh gasoline for those fires.
Example, in one scene Kate says to Michael - You should drink the blood from a pouch, or else when hungry you will attach humans, and you dont want that on your conscience.
Hmmmmm, let me get this straight, Europe was a land of mud, excretum and disease, where people seldom bathed (untill the 1920's or 1940's), the black plague was a result of this. But as in any barbaric society, an explanation was sought from supernatural sources. So vampires were born. They were supposed to be EVIL. So by the definition of "evil", there is NO conscience. So whats the deal here?
So the basic tenet of this movie is, 2 stupid ideas make one smart idea. The 2 ideas being, vampires exist, and some how they have "evolved" in to compassionate beings. Well, what do you think, does that formula work for you?
Well, then this movie also preys on some age old religious beliefs. This is funny, because vampires and hob goblins were most probably the product of an over zealous religious system, which in the middle ages (just like today), sought to subjugate the common populace by fear. What with their attration towards altar boys and such, I guess they needed some pretty scary stuff to keep their flock in check!
Well anyway, any vampire story was incomplete without "holy water", the sign of the "cross", and other religious paraphernalia.
Well, this movie does away with that concept, when "Tannis - the librarian" (nerdy version of a vampire) with 2 vampire consorts happily romps in sexually frivolous acts right in a monastery. And they are literally on a bed, over looked by a wall with holy iconography..... Ummm, hey religious whackos, any sentiments you would like to share?
So lets see, we have exalted vampires, shown them to be "noble" creatures, we have a story line very very similar to the way most Marvel and DC comics heros are born (bitten by an animal), and then we have tried some iconoclastic tactics.
Interesting, so what is the end result, a gory movie where in there are a lot of disgusting scenes wherein the actors bite and gorge on blood.
Is it a hit, I dont know, but perhaps it is, we sure dont lack stupids here!
Regards,
KL
Description of Underworld: Evolution (Widescreen Edition)
THE SAGA CONTINUES AS THE BATTLE RAGES ON BETWEEN THE DEATH DEALERS (VAMPIRES) & THE LYCANS (WEREWOLVES) IN THIS FAST-PACED MODERN-DAY TALE OF DEADLY ACTION, RUTHLESS INTRIGUE & FORBIDDEN LOVE ALL LEADING TO THE BATTLE TO END ALL WARS AS THE IMMORTALS FINALLY FACE THEIR RETRIBUTION.Better action, a bit of sex, and gorier R-rated violence make Underworld: Evolution a reasonably satisfying sequel to 2003's surprise hit Underworld. Looking stunning as ever in her black leather battle gear, Kate Beckinsale is every goth guy's fantasy as Selene, the vampire "death dealer" who's now fighting to stop the release of the original "Lycan" werewolf, William (Brian Steele) from the prison that's held him for centuries. As we learn from the film's action-packed prologue, William and his brother Marcus (Tony Curran) began the bloodline of vampires and werewolves, and after witnessing centuries of warfare between them, their immortal father Corvinus (Derek Jacobi) now seeks Selene and the human vampire/lycan hybrid Michael (Scott Speedman) to put an end to the war perpetuated by Victor (Bill Nighy), the vampire warrior whose betrayal of Selene turns Underworld: Evolution into an epic tale of familial revenge. This ambitious attempt at Shakespearean horror is compromised by a script (by Danny McBride and returning director Len Wiseman, Beckinsale's real-life husband) that's more confusing than it needs to be, with too many characters and not enough storytelling detail to flesh them all out. Aspiring to greatness and falling well short of that goal, Underworld: Evolution succeeds instead as a full-throttle action/horror thriller, with enough swordplay, gunplay, and CGI monsters to justify the continuation of the Underworld franchise. If you're an established fan, this is a must-see movie; if not, well... at least it's better than Van Helsing! --Jeff Shannon
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