Under the Tuscan Sun (Widescreen Edition)
by Audrey Wells
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DVD details
Actor: Diane Lane, Lindsay Duncan, Raoul Bova, Sandra Oh, Vincent RiottaDirector: Audrey Wells
Brand: Buena Vista Home Video
Producer: Audrey Wells
Writer: Audrey Wells
Producer: Edoardo Petti
Producer: Jon Goldman
Producer: Katie DiMento
Producer: Laura Fattori
Writer: Frances Mayes
DVD: Region Code 1
Audio: Spanish (Unknown); Spanish (Subtitled); English (Original Language), Dolby Digital 5.1
Format: Anamorphic, Color, DVD, NTSC, Widescreen
Picture Format: 1.85:1
Running Time: 113 minutes
DVD Release Date: 2004-02-03
Audience Rating: PG-13 (Parental Guidance Suggested)
Studio: Walt Disney Video
DVD Reviews of Under the Tuscan Sun (Widescreen Edition)
DVD Review: Kiss of Death For Males
Summary: 2 Stars
Now, I understand this is what is referred to by kids these days as a "chick flick". I am not foreign to these, as I have a wife whom I dearly love, despite her taste in movies that could only be construed as "questionable". I have seen a good many Jennifer Lopez movies, several starring women in the workplace who are Feisty and will Probably Fall In Love With The Wrong Guy. However, no movie has insulted the intellect of its audience in quite so drastic a fashion as the movie which is Under The Tuscan Sun.
Chick Flicks go through several different stages, depending on the target age of the audience watching them. For example, movies about Ugly Pretty Girls who are somehow changed into Lovely Prom Queens while retaining their Artistic and Sensitive Personalities would be a Stage 1 Chick Flick. As these same women progress into young adulthood, they tend towards movies with women who are Ad/TV Execs or News Columnists in big businesses in New York City. These women are never anything but the greatest at what they do. The women in these roles often have semi-wacky mishaps and either have a "love interest" male or witchy female competing with them for their jobs. There will also be a less attractive friend, probably played by Jeneane Garofolo.
These are Stage 2 Chick Flicks.
Many hours later of watching Lifetime and countless Danielle Steele novels about empowered female lawyers Learning To Love Again, the watcher of the Chick Flick is likely now in her mid 20s to early 30s. Their life has likely been a bitter disappointment on many fronts, and so they are prime targets for Stage 3 Chick Flicks. Stage 3 Chick Flicks generally include women who have had Struggles yearning To Do Stuff, and eventually doing whatever it was they were yearning about in the first place. And here we find Under The Tuscan Sun.
The movie stars Diane Lane, who was also in Unfaithful, in which she has sex with someone other than Richard Gere. I'm not sure what bearing this has on the review, but it was a far superior movie. Diane's character's name is Frances. She is from San Fransisco, and therefore has lesbian friends. I imagine she also enjoys Starbucks and votes Democratic. Frances has recently gone through her divorce (clearly not her fault, as this is a chick flick) and is pretty bummed about it. Her gay friends (who are expecting a baby, of course)decide to give the gift of going on a Gay in Tuscany Tour.
Once in Tuscany, Frances (or Francesca, we're in Italy now) decided to purchase a run-down villa. Evidently, it is incredibly easy for Americans to simply purchase Italian villas and decide to stay in the country. She is able to purchase the house because the old Italian lady sees a bird take a crap in the house. Seriously. Because. She. Sees. Bird. CRAP.
Naturally, the house is a mess, and our journey of self-realization and feminine daydreaming is stopped in its tracks. Egads! The place is a mess! Much like her tortured psyche! And the roof leaks! And the toilet doesn't work! Ahhhh! At this rate, never will she find self-reliance or the ability to love again!
One of the lesbians (the pregnant one) comes to live with her because the other lesbian ran out on her. Negligent parenting--it's not just for heteros anymore! Of course, she is free to travel while 8 months pregnant to Italy and stay for as long as she likes. "Come on over!" says Italy, "Anything we can get for you? Stay as long as you need to, you poor alternative-lifestyle pregnant lady! You're everything an Italian villager would approve of!"
There's also a story about some Polish workers, but I don't remember the particulars. One of the guys was in love with a girl, and at some point threw some flags in the air to prove it. Then again, this entire movie was throwing up red flags, so my memory lapse is understandable.
We also learn that Italian men have a zest for life, and this zest manifests itself into what can only be called "stalking women in public". Evidently, "la dolce vita" includes the need for restraining orders.
Finally, the allegorical story of Frances' heart--I mean the house--is starting to come together, so she starts to fall in love with an Italian man who says things like "I drown in your eyes". He also drives a scooter, which just goes to show this guy is HARDCORE.
Naturally, the guy ends up cheating on her. But that's ok, because she's learned to love herself, you see, and the once standoffish Italian neighbors now bring her veggies from their garden and say "Buona Sera!" to her each radiant Tuscan morning, and the vineyard (quoty fingers "Frances' soul")is bearing fruit. Also, her lesbian friend gives birth, seemingly unphased about doing so in the middle of rural Italy. I'm betting she didn't even transfer her Ob-Gyn records.
I should mention throughout this movie Frances does not even have the damned civility to learn Italian. Apparently, evening classes were held so that the villagers could communicate in broken English. To add insult to injury, it seems living in Italy is enough to give you INCREDIBLE COOKING ABILITY. These ladies have been cooking Italian for 50 years, and Diane Lane blows them out of the water after 2 months.
There's also an amazingly irritating retired actress who decides to dress up like Fellini characters and makes a spectacle of herself in public. I imagine this is supposed to be a tribute to one of the greats of film, but if I received a tribute like this, I would poke out my eyes.
Anyhow, at the end, there's a nice wedding at the house and Diane West's character falls for a nice Italian guy. Miraculously, the faucet in the house begins to work. Of course, there is no symbolism intended, unless to suggest two hours of your life have gone down the drain.
This film may be insulting to lesbians, Eurotrash, Tuscan villagers, Italian immigration officials, and people who hate clumsy symbolism. The whole movie is like some poor romance novel combined with the DNA of a witless idealist and a tract on colonialism, exposed to gamma radiation for 48 hours, and then unleashed upon an unsuspecting world. Some movies break suspension of disbelief for a moment and are ruined. Under the Tuscan Sun would just like to break into suspension of disbelief once. It looks and feels like the naive dreams of a housewife who couldn't point Italy out on a labeled map and thinks folks in different countries all just speak English with different accents.
Two stars, simply because every movie I see from now on, no matter how horrible it is, I can say, "well, it beats Under the Tuscan Sun".
Description of Under the Tuscan Sun (Widescreen Edition)
From the studio that brought you SWEET HOME ALABAMA comes the extraordinary romantic comedy starring Academy Award(R) nominee Diane Lane (2002 Best Actress, UNFAITHFUL). Based on the #1 New York Times best-selling book, UNDER THE TUSCAN SUN follows San Francisco writer Frances Mayes (Lane) to Italy as a good friend offers her a special gift -- 10 days in Tuscany. Once there, she is captivated by its beauty and warmth, and impulsively buys an aging, but very charming, villa. Fully embracing new friends and local color, she finds herself immersed in a life-changing adventure filled with enough unexpected surprises, laughter, friendship, and romance to restore her new home -- and her belief in second chances.Though she made her first movie at the age of 13, Diane Lane has only blossomed into a true star in her 30s, and Under the Tuscan Sun marks her full flowering. After a brutal divorce, Frances (Lane, Unfaithful, A Walk on the Moon) is persuaded by her friend Patti (Sandra Oh) to take a tour of Italy--where, on a whim that she hopes will rescue her from her desperate unhappiness, she buys a rundown villa and sets out to renovate it. Along the way, she gets advice from a former Fellini actress, meets a scrumptious Italian lover, and helps support Patti after her own relationship derails. The conclusion of Under the Tuscan Sun holds no surprises, but the deft turns and observations along the way are delightful. Lane carries the film effortlessly but surely, exuding both heartbreak and re-awakening passion. --Bret Fetzer
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