Time Changer
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DVD details
Actor: D. David Morin, Gavin MacLeod, Hal Linden, Jennifer O'Neill, Paul RodriguezDVD: Region Code 1
Audio: English (Original Language); English (Published); Spanish (Published)
Format: Anamorphic, Color, DVD, NTSC, Widescreen
Picture Format: 1.85:1
Running Time: 99 minutes
Published: 2007-08-21
DVD Release Date: 2003-10-07
Audience Rating: PG (Parental Guidance Suggested)
Studio: ChristianMovies.com
DVD Reviews of Time Changer
DVD Review: So Bad It's Hilarious - and Scary
Summary: 1 Stars
I saw this movie on the Gospel Music Channel recently. Part of me wanted to give this movie at least 4 out of 5 stars just like I'd give "Plan 9 From Outer Space" that score. It is so bad and so so-self-consciously self-important it's hilarious. The only reason I didn't give it that score is that I don't want it averaged in with all the other Fundamentalist Christian shills here who were either put up to write a good review for a movie they didn't see, or worse, ignorant, brain-washed, and close-minded enough to take this garbage seriously.
As a Christian I'm also offended and even scared by this movie and its message of censorship and intolerance. In fact, if I didn't know it was made by and for Christians I would have thought it was a parody of Christians made by atheists. So let me review this movie from the perspective of a Christian who doesn't take perverse pleasure in fantasizing about Armageddon and the horrible eternal fire awaiting billions of people with decent morals simply for not giving proper credit to Jesus Christ for them.
Anyway, as much as I find this movie offensive, it's unintended hilarity makes for fine entertainment if you aren't brain dead. The stilted acting by a cast of stale has-beens and never weres, pretentious dialogue, continuity errors, and plot holes so large they could swallow Nebraska somehow come together into a work of unintended sublime comedy gold.
The movie is about a biblical scholar, Russell Carlisle, as our "Time Changer" who travels through time from the 1890's to 2002 and changes... absolutely nothing. Carlyle's character of a Victorian era prude is played "convincingly" by D. David Morin, in that he has a big beard and doesn't use contractions. Those two attributes really helped me willfully suspend my disbelief so that I could enjoy the riotously hilarious plot, which is as follows: At the suggestion and doing of his colleague, Dr. Anderson (played by the indomitable Gavin McLeod), Carlisle travels from the fictional country/era of the United States of Fundamentalist Christians via a time machine so that he can see for himself the dangers of distinguishing morality as separate from the teachings of Jesus Christ.
I use the word "fictional" as it hopefully applies to the majority Americans that have graduated high school, not blown their minds out on drugs, or suffered a serious head injury. If you don't fall into any of the criteria above, or you happen to be one of the screenwriters, you probably think that the United States was once a brittle, austere theocracy in which stuffy, community theater actors paraded around scolding knickerbocker-clad children with bibles tucked under their arms. But seeing as we're dealing with creative minds that believe the Earth is only about 10,000 years-old, why bother about historical accuracy?
Anyway, after Dr. Carlisle is stood on the time machine pad, Dr. Anderson puts on dark protective goggles to protect him from the indirect extremely bright "time-changer" light his machine beams right into Dr. C's face and body to transport him to 2002. Funny thing is, Dr. C was not blinded in the process since Dr. A didn't bother to give him any goggles to wear. Such little touches of error or signs of Christian caring (actually the lack thereof), are some of the things that make this trash so fun to watch.
Carlisle then gives us the perfunctory "Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court" routine where upon seeing water fountains, automobiles, and motion pictures he goes into a Beagle-like torpor, craning his head from side to side and dropping his jaw a little. This, by the way, comprises about two thirds of D. David Morin's acting range and adds to the long, long list of unintentional hilarities as ALL of these modern marvels existed before 1890!
Carlisle then encounters a slew of modern, profound, societal dilemmas would test anyone's Christian mettle such as: children stealing hot dogs, teenagers peacefully convening on street corners after dark, lingerie displays, well mannered laundry mat owners, and my personal favorite, movies that contain dialogue with the words "God" and "Damn" in them. In this particular scene, Carlisle goes to see a film with a church group in which the aforementioned is uttered by an actor. Dr. C. is then seen running from the theater and into the lobby, shouting hysterically at the popcorn clerks about blasphemy and pleading they should "stop this at once!!!"
In another scene, Carlisle, like many strangers who mysteriously arrive at church group, is invited to talk to a science class in a public school by a teacher. He greets the class and then immediately begins a symposium on how God, our father, is the core off all science, and that everything written in the bible has been proved as actual, literal, indisputable fact. After he is quickly ushered away by the teacher and told his behavior was inappropriate, Carlisle's sadness and inability to understand this cruel future are punctuated by an extreme close-up, and heart-wrenching, incidental music. I actually pulled a muscle in my upper rib cage from laughing.
The film culminates by telegraphing the Fundamentalist mantra via a tender dialogue between Carlisle and a sympathetic Christian librarian played be Jennifer O'Neill, in what must be a new career low for this has-been model. She proclaims that Satan's greatest victory was removing the word of God in secular entertainment and public schools. Yes, my rib was still hurting at this point, but it wasn't over yet.
Before Carlisle returns to his time and fictional nation, he revisits Eddie Martinez, the well mannered, patient, and helpful laundry mat owner played by Z list actor and comedian Paul Rodriguez. In a most frank, earnest, and unwittingly hilarious moment, Carlisle tells Eddie that no matter how good a person he is in this lifetime, he will burn in hell lest he give credit to Jesus Christ for the source of his morality. In fact, there is no difference between his productive and generally moral life than that of a child rapist or a murderer, that is, in the eyes of God at least. Eddie then promises to read the bible. Wouldn't you?
Near the end of Dr. C's vacation in the future, he returns to the alley where the transport home is to take place. He is followed there by two guys from the church group with a sort of gay aura-thing going on, who have been investigating this stranger and insist on confronting him and potentially arresting him somehow (for what? - he hasn't broken any laws). Of course, these Christians aren't "real" Christians because they don't interpret scripture just like Dr. C. So to set them straight he LIES to them as the "time-changer" light is getting ready to grab him by saying the light is Jesus implying he's being raptured. I guess it's OK for good Christians to lie or deceive to promote the faith. What a great example to set....
Carlisle then returns home to a decade devoid of antibiotics and full of violent racism, women who can't vote, and gruesome child labor and tells Dr. Anderson what he has observed in his "experiment." He tells him that not giving props to Jesus in the "works cited" page we call "life" will lead the country down a path to destruction as proved by the proclivity of hot dog theft, people kissing on TV, and science unfettered by creationism. Yes, the petty and vindictive God will send even good people straight to an eternity of burning pain, because he desires credit for the work more than he does the results of "goodness." Strangely, Carlisle leaves out that life expectancy has doubled, indoor plumbing is common, and Jim Crowe has been outlawed when reporting back to Dr. Anderson. Huh.
Dr. Anderson then wonders how long mankind has before Jesus destroys the world in a ball of fire that will consume all non-believers, or: the ultimate, orgasmic-like fantasy of all religious fundamentalist zealots be they Christian or Muslim.
Anyway, please watch this turd, if for nothing more than a good laugh, than for the salvation of your very real soul, one that should see intolerance, censorship, and torture fantasy for what it is: About one more gay-bashing away from flying airplanes into buildings.
(And by the way, try to find this movie on cable or watch it on YouTube but don't buy it unless you like supporting those who would effectively burn the Constitution and turn the U.S. into a theocracy.)
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