The Wackiest Ship in the Army
by Richard Murphy
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DVD details
Actor: Chips Rafferty, Jack Lemmon, John Lund, Ricky Nelson, Tom TullyDirector: Richard Murphy
Brand: Sony
Cinematographer: Charles Lawton Jr.
Writer: Richard Murphy
Editor: Charles Nelson
Producer: Fred Kohlmar
Writer: Herbert Carlson
Writer: Herbert H. Margolis
Writer: William Raynor
DVD: Region Code 99
Audio: English (Unknown); English (Subtitled); French (Subtitled); English (Original Language)
Format: Closed-captioned, Color, DVD, NTSC, Subtitled, Widescreen
Picture Format: Anamorphic Widescreen, 2.35:1
Running Time: 99 minutes
Published: 2004-10-01
DVD Release Date: 2004-10-12
Audience Rating: Unrated
Studio: Sony Pictures Home Entertainment
DVD Reviews of The Wackiest Ship in the Army
DVD Review: The title of "Wackiest" should be stripped and awarded elsewhere...
Summary: 1 Stars
Before the film even began, there were expectations. Merely the title alone demonstrated that the viewer could expect three major elements, humor, military hijinks, and a group of outsiders overcoming a major adversity to become a shimmer in the community's eye. Before the DVD even makes it into the player, these are the already famous clichés that Hollywood is notorious for. Boasted as a comedy, coupled with the animated out of film credit sequence, I knew that we were already one step into the game (i.e. the comedy), but the joke literally stopped there. With the zany credits, one could have guessed this film down to the final keystroke, but it never formulated that way. "The Wackiest Ship in the Army" was prepared and ready, not to overuse sailing terms, it just never left the port. This film provided no laughter, horrible special effects, a lackluster second crew, and a premise that still confuses this critic - were there "Ships" in the "Army". This Jack Lemmon vehicle seemed too eager to attach itself to others of the same genre, perhaps capture income from those viewers assuming the best, but the foundation was never set - we had nothing to grow upon, so we cared nothing about our team. From the horrid direction, the abysmal characters, and possibly the flimsiest story "in the Army", this film was an embarrassment to everyone involved - most particularly - the Army.
Navy. Let's just get it out of the troubled air first - shouldn't this film be called "The Wackiest Ship in the Navy". To begin with it has a stronger presence, reminding you of the good times we had with "McHale's Navy", but here it feels as if the director is already telling us a joke we don't feel like laughing at. Perhaps the two words, "Ship" and "Army" are a joke within themselves, demonstrating the power of the comedy right off the bat. Well, it failed. This was an annoying title that just got worse as I continued to think about the logistics. With this thought out of the way, what else failed in this film? Two words: Jack Lemmon. This was the worst film to showcase his talents, because he demonstrated no ability at all. His character, the most capable non-captain apparently in the entire Army (...or is it Navy?), was unfunny, overzealous, and arrogant throughout the picture. Coupled with his mopey second in command (a horrid Ricky Nelson as Ens. Hanson) that seemed to only take directions subtlety without passion or excitement, created a cinematic experience that was both boring and uncreative all at the same time. While I didn't want these two central characters to fall within the Hollywood cliché circle, I did want some comfort - some actual humor - as well as some chemistry that built upon that humor. Alas, none was present, and instead we had two actors just play their part all the while collecting their paycheck.
When a film uses the word "Wackiest" in its title, it would imply that there is going to be mischief, uncalled for chaos (also involving mischief), and characters that are larger than life providing us with the belly laughs we need through these harsh economic times. In my opinion, "Wackiest" is a misrepresentation for this film. The idea behind this film, a Navy man has to sail his way into enemy territory using a crew that knows nothing about actual sailing and ultimately asked to save the day. I know...I know, the jokes should have been flowing like the green screen ocean behind Lemmon, but it never did. The premise is strong, it had the potential to make you laugh - it drew ideas from other comedy films that do make you laugh - but where this film failed was in its execution. Comedy was forbidden in this film. Sure, there were scenes that attempted at comedy (i.e. the bad coffee sight gag), and there was plenty of pre-music warning us that something funny could happen - but nothing did. We spend forty minutes getting to the boat, twenty minutes on it, then the other forty carelessly outsmarting the Japanese insurgency. There were no sight gags, no quotable lines, and definitely nothing to say this would be great with friends and family. "The Wackiest Ship in the Army" floundered, with poor production values and paper-thin characters, not even a grin was worth the effort. If this ship was aptly called "The Wackiest", then I feel bad for those other vessels that probably promised laughs - and followed through successfully.
There is very little positive praise that one can give this film. Jack Lemmon, a man that I admire from his work on "The Apartment" and "The Odd Couple" knows, or should I say knew, comedy. He knew how to make this viewer laugh, and he has done it with what seemed like the greatest grace, but this film didn't even scratch the surface of his potential. Why waste such a talented actor on a script that had larger holes than those written by Louis Sachar. It felt as if the writers had to produce a script in three days, or they would lose their jobs. This film, "The Wackiest Ship in the Army" is that final project. None of the characters, even Lemmon, are worth viewing. The pathetic attempt at danger, attempting to build any suspense especially during the mine field gimmick, was devastatingly bad. This was not comedy. This was not even an attempt at comedy. This was faux comedy. Not quite real - even when the entire audience is hoping for the best.
Overall, I have to admit, this was a horrid film. One could argue that Jack Lemmon could never make a disastrous film, and I would have to continually quote this film. Absolutely nothing worked in this film, from the comedy, the factual elements, and even the moments of suspense - it just seemed pre-cut. This was a pre-determined film, knowing from the beginning that the ending was in sight and no clouds ahead. I can't argue about that, in this pre-determined world Hollywood, there is a sense of comfort with knowing how a film will end, but it is how we get to that ending that counts. In this film, that was nearly as bad as our outside elements. The characters were never witty, never dialogue savvy, or even schooled in physical comedy. Nothing worked in this "naval" comedy. I would love to tell you something, anything positive about this film, just in hopes that perhaps I missed something - but alas, I cannot suggest it to anyone. I would like to attach this warning - this is not a comedy - repeat - this is not a comedy. View at your own risk ... we cannot promise your safety.
Grade: * out of *****
Description of The Wackiest Ship in the Army
Jack Lemmon and Ricky Nelson get that sinking feeling when they pilot THE WACKIEST SHIP IN THE ARMY in this hilarious comedy-adventure. During World War II, the Army recruits Navy officer Rip Crandall (Lemmon) to command a battered old schooner for a top-secret mission. Masquerading as a Japanese fishing boat, this nautical nightmare must smuggle a spy through mine-infested waters of the South Pacific. Unfortunately for Crandall, he has inherited a wild crew of butterfingered landlubbers, including First Officer Tommy Hanson (Nelson). Can the dedicated lieutenant whip these comically inexperienced gobs into shape in time to carry out their perilous mission? Starring: Jack Lemmon (2-time Academy AwardŽ Winner, 1955 Mr. Roberts, 1973 Save the Tiger, 8-time Academy AwardŽ Nominee), Ricky Nelson (Golden GlobeŽ Nominee, 1959, Most Promising Newcomer).Bestsellers in DVD
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