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The Pumpkin Karver by Robert Mann
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DVD detailsActor: Amy Weber, Michael Zara, Minka Kelly, Mistie Adams, Terrence Evans Director: Robert Mann Brand: First Look Pictures Writer: Robert Mann Writer: Sheldon Silverstein DVD: Region Code 1 Audio: Spanish (Subtitled); English (Original Language), Dolby Digital 5.1 Format: AC-3, Color, Dolby, DVD, NTSC, Subtitled, Widescreen Picture Format: 1.33:1 Running Time: 90 minutes DVD Release Date: 2006-10-03 Audience Rating: R (Restricted) Studio: First Look Pictures
DVD Reviews of The Pumpkin KarverDVD Review: All trick no treat Summary: 2 Stars
The Pumpkin Karver starts out with an interesting premise. Two actors who can't possibly be related (attractive but not particularly good actress Amy Weber and mopey Michael Zara) play the Stark kids, their lives forever changed on Halloween night. It seems Lynn (Weber) has a very poor taste in boyfriends (David J. Wright as Alec). He's one of those hyper-offensive jerks that's so ridiculous you can't imagine him surviving for very long in the real world. But never you mind, because this is a slasher film, and Pumpkin Karver puts neon flashing lights around those of weak moral character so we know they're going to die.
And die Alec does. The twist here is that he dresses up as a pumpkin-faced killer (see the connection?) and assaults poor Lynn. Convinced she's in danger, Jonathan (Zara) stabs Alec to death. What was supposed to be a prank turns into a terrible tragedy. There's something to be said for mimicking Terror Train. It's what Pumpkin Karver does with it that matters.
Continuing the too-stupid-to-live trend, the Stark kids go on a trip to a town named Carver known for its pumpkin carving - because it makes perfect sense to go to a Halloween party surrounded by knives on the anniversary of your sister's boyfriend's murder.
And so we have a cavalcade for cretins, all there to die for our amusement. The difference is that in Pumpkin Karver the actors all seem to be trying to outdo each other by chewing as much scenery as possible. There's the drunken frat boys who are so ridiculously focused on getting high that they make Shaggy look tame, so they of course deserve to die; the hot chicks who shamelessly tease boys but slap them just when things are about to get R-rated, so they of course deserve to die; the fat guy who's funny but secretly lusts for the Final Girl, so he deserves to die; and the psychotic ex-boyfriend of the love interest who isn't above physically assaulting her, so...you get the idea. In short, there's not a single redeeming character here, including the love interest who switches boyfriends at the drop of a pumpkin.
Unfortunately, director Robert Mann isn't really sure what to do with his slasher. There's no room for another generic killer that hasn't already been covered by Voorhees or Myers, so new kids on the block need to have a shtick. If your killer's specialty is to carve people's faces up like pumpkins, then he'd better do just that.
The Karver doesn't do that though. Instead, he shows up as a nightmare sequence, skewers and beheads people, shoots lightning bolts out of his eyes, and otherwise tries to be really spooky without sticking to what he does best. There's also an old man thrown in for good measure who makes a half-hearted attempt to connect Jonathan's father with a tradition of carving pumpkins.
Oh right, the whole pumpkin carving thing. What that has to do with the price of a gourd is a mystery, but Old Man Wickets (Terrence Evans) is there to remind us that this movie has a theme tied to Halloween. This is a movie that was hoping you'd watch it on Halloween.
Notice I didn't write "rent it." Pumpkin Karver really commits to trying to scare you, complete with the villain showing up during the credits and reminding you how scary it will be when you walk to the parking lot. Unfortunately the killer is kind of a moron. He's much scarier with his mask on.
And that's the thing about Pumpkin Karver. When the mask is torn off, it's just another lame attempt to cash in on Halloween moviegoers. It's less concerned about having a coherent plot and more concerned with teenagers connecting the movie to a date. This trick works precisely once, and now that Pumpkin Karver is on video it's no treat.
More The Pumpkin Karver reviews: 1 2 3 4
Description of The Pumpkin KarverPUMPKIN KARVER - DVD Movie
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