The Forbidden Kingdom
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Actor: Jackie Chan, Jet Li, Juana Collignon, Michael Angarano, Yifei LiuBrand: Lions Gate
DVD: Region Code 1
Audio: English (Unknown); English (Subtitled); Spanish (Subtitled); English (Original Language)
Format: AC-3, Closed-captioned, Color, Dolby, DVD, Full Screen, NTSC, Subtitled, Widescreen
Picture Format: 1.33:1
Running Time: 104 minutes
Published: 2008-09-01
DVD Release Date: 2008-09-09
Audience Rating: PG-13 (Parental Guidance Suggested)
Studio: Lions Gate
DVD Reviews of The Forbidden Kingdom
DVD Review: One of the few who didn't care for the movie...
Summary: 1 Stars
Forbidden Kingdom / B001BEK8HO
*Spoilers*
This doesn't seem to be the popular opinion among the reviews for "Forbidden Kingdom", but I absolutely couldn't stand this movie. Rather than do my usual plot-summary rundown, perhaps I'll just go this time with an itemized list.
1. Tired, reworn, retread, predictable. An awkward, western, white kid who has an uncool fascination with cheesy kung-fu movies, an inability to relate with the opposite sex, and a tendency to be beaten up by bullies is transported to a magical realm, taught the ways of fighting, falls in love with a doomed-to-die hottie, and is transported back after learning a valuable life lesson so that he can beat up the bullies and gain the love of the Real World Doppleganger Hottie he's never noticed before. Seriously? That plot gimmick was already painfully over-used when the lamentable Warriors of Virtue was attempting to combine the "Karate Kid" series with an Australian "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" flair. I mean, I had Christian YA books as a kid that were already using this plot line verbatim, and when you're ripping off decades-old third-rate YA books as the basis for your movie, you're scrapping the bottom of the barrel.
2. Juvenile. Does anyone over the age of thirteen seriously find it funny to have Jet Li urinate on Jackie Chan's head, while a parched Chan gratefully rubs the "rain" into his face and mouth? Har, har, it's PEE! Ugh.
3. Western. Admittedly, this was my fault, but I went into "Forbidden Kingdoms" looking for something like Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, House of Flying Daggers, or Curse of the Golden Flower. What I didn't want or need was a CGI-fest that looked like George Lucas had been specifically enlisted in order to make everything even more colorfully fake-looking than The Phantom Menace. I mean, the opening mountain sequence of "Forbidden Kingdom" looks so fake it might as well be made of styrofoam.
4. Clichéd. I'm pretty sure it is never once explained why Golden Sparrow was hanging incognito in an eastern fantasy equivalent of a piano bar, waiting for our heroes (and I use the term loosely) to show up so she can save them. What's astonishing, however, is that none of the characters even bother to ASK - they've just accepted that they are in a movie and the awkward kid needs a hottie to mack on.
5. OK, this one is a bit longer. We've got this villain, possibly the only character in the movie that I liked. She has a potentially interesting backstory that is only hinted at: She's a witch who was raised by wolves (Did her parents abandon her to die? Was she lost or kidnapped?) and who distrusts men for undisclosed reasons hinting at a painful past filled with betrayal. The Jade Warlord summons her to his aid and provides a carrot (immortality) and, knowing his personality, a few sticks to motivate her. In the final fight, her only interest is in snagging the immortality elixir - she could care less whether the Jade Warlord wins or loses. So when the elixir is drunk by someone else, she should hoof it, right? She no longer has a bone in the fight, and she's been painted as a self-preserving character from the very beginning. Wrong. For no reason whatsoever, she hangs around to battle the new immortal, only so a grinning Jackie Chan can gleefully toss her over a cliff. If the movie had run the words "Girl had it coming" along the bottom of that scene, it wouldn't have been more blatant. This effect is not softened by the immediate-and-predicted death of the love interest who also had it coming because she was "consumed by vengeance" (bad) whereas the male characters were only fighting the Jade Warlord because it seemed like a fun way to pass the time (good).
I could go on, but I really shouldn't. It's entirely possible that children will like this movie, but really there are about a dozen other, older identical movies that are smarter, funnier, and contain fewer urine jokes in them, so why not watch those instead?
Description of The Forbidden Kingdom
Studio: Lions Gate Home Ent. Release Date: 09/09/2008 Run time: 104 minutes Rating: Pg13Bestsellers in DVD
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