TMNT

TMNT
by Kevin Munroe

TMNT
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Actor: Chris Evans, James Arnold Taylor, Mako, Nolan North, Patrick Stewart
Director: Kevin Munroe
Brand: Warner Bros
Writer: Kevin Munroe
Producer: Felix Ip
Producer: Francis Kao
Producer: Frederick U. Fierst
Producer: Galen Walker
Writer: Kevin Eastman
Writer: Peter Laird
DVD: Region Code 1
Audio: English (Unknown); English (Subtitled); French (Subtitled); Spanish (Subtitled); English (Original Language); French (Original Language); Spanish (Original Language); French (Dubbed); Spanish (Dubbed)
Format: AC-3, Animated, Closed-captioned, Color, Dolby, Dubbed, DVD, Full Screen, NTSC, Subtitled, Widescreen
Picture Format: 2.35:1
Running Time: 87 minutes
Published: 2007-08-01
DVD Release Date: 2007-08-07
Audience Rating: PG (Parental Guidance Suggested)
Model: 115766
Studio: Warner Bros.
Product features:
  • The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles return in an all-new CGI action adventure, written and directed by Kevin Munroe. After the defeat of their old arch nemesis, The Shredder, the Turtles have grown apart as a family. Struggling to keep them together, their rat sensei, Splinter (Mako), becomes worried when strange things begin to brew in New York City. Tech-industrialist Maximillian J. Winters (Patric

DVD Reviews of TMNT

DVD Review: Shell Shocked
Summary: 2 Stars

I willingly went to go see this new version of "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles." I stood in line. I paid for my ticket. I entered the theater. I stayed for the entire show. Clearly, I had been sucked in by the impressive ad campaign, a collection of high-octane television spots, creative posters, and well edited trailers. I have no idea why I allowed myself to experience this film; I already experienced it seventeen years ago, when the live action version was first released. Yes, I was a fan. But I was also a kid--no more than seven--and as we all know, tastes change as one grows. This new film represents an idea that has already gotten old, and it offers nothing original in terms of characterization, plot, and setting. In short, there was absolutely no reason for "TMNT" to be made.

This computer-generated cartoon is basically a ninety-minute sequence of nonstop energy, a wall-to-wall montage of chase scenes and physical altercations. Nothing much holds it all together, save for one of the flimsiest stories ever conjured up for an animated film. It begins with the description of a ruthless Central American warrior who lived more than 3,000 years ago. Apparently, he had discovered an inter-dimensional portal, one that would give him immortality if opened during an alignment of certain stars. He does so, only to learn of the price he has to pay: not only was every one of his soldiers turned to stone, but thirteen monsters were unleashed, as well. He was doomed to walk the earth for all eternity, unable to die no matter what.

According to the opening narrator (Laurence Fishburne), this 3,000-year-old myth is a new evil to be fought by our sewer-dwelling, pizza-loving heroes in half shells. They have since stopped fighting crime on the streets of New York City; Master Splinter (Mako) has sent the eldest brother, Leonardo (James Arnold Taylor), on a Central American retreat in order to hone his leadership skills. In the meantime, the remaining three Turtles have turned to other lines of work. Michelangelo (Mikey Kelley) goes to birthday parties as a costumed character, dressed as ... well, a turtle (complete with a false head). Donatello (Mitchell Whitfield) is a Technical Support phone operator for a computer company. Rafael (Nolan North) has failed to get a real job; by night, unbeknownst to everyone else, he's a vigilante crime fighter known only as Nightwatcher.

While visiting Central America on assignment, news reporter April O'Neil (Sarah Michelle Gellar) reunites with Leonardo and informs him that he needs to return to New York so that he and the other Turtles can be one happy family again. Sound advice from a news reporter who would actually participate in a martial arts battle. It was obvious that this character's inclusion was merely for the sake of appeasing diehard "TMNT" fans. Her role in this film is so minimal that it's practically a cameo. She serves mostly as a second half to her boyfriend, the clumsy wannabe crime fighter Casey Jones (Chris Evans).

O'Neil delivers a package to powerful business tycoon Max Winters (Patrick Stewart), one that contains a life-sized warrior statue made entirely of stone. It's quickly established that Winters has ulterior motives for his statue collection, all of which are actually the hardened remains of the cursed Central American warriors. He then teams up with the few remaining members of The Foot, who seem to have lost their way since Master Shredder was defeated. Winters wants them to track down and capture the thirteen monsters that were released 3,000 years ago. This will actually be quite easy, as they've all somehow managed to end up in New York City. But why should that matter? A number of cool looking creatures are given screen time, which is a plus for anyone who cares little for plot and characterization.

Upon Leonardo's return, tension between him and Rafael grows deeper: Leonardo feels that it's his responsibility to lead his brothers; Rafael is an impatient hothead who wants to give his own form of justice. Master Splinter seems to be the only one who knows how to patch things up, which is amazing considering how badly he's portrayed in this film. Listening to him speak was grating due to his consistently slurred voice; he sounded more like a drunkard than a wise Japanese rat. He does occasionally give a few words of wisdom. He also enjoys watching soap operas, as noted when he announces that he's off to watch his stories.

I could go on describing the plot, why should I bother? It's weak in every way, from the story to the character development to the special effects, all of which amount to nothing more than a cheaply produced video game. It isn't helped by truly awful dialogue; every line was either a pun or a joke, which might have worked had they not been spoken during some very inappropriate scenes (such as when everyone is engaged in hand-to-hand combat). Who would actually be entertained by such mindlessness? I should think that even fans of the "TMNT" franchise would be sorely disappointed. And rightfully so: this latest film reduces every character to an insignificant action drone, someone that will fight at the drop of a hat. There's no depth. There's no meaning. It's all eye candy.

Can I get a "Cowabunga, Dude"?
More TMNT reviews:
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Description of TMNT

TMNT
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