Oliver!

Oliver!
by Carol Reed, Ronald Saland

Oliver!
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DVD details

Actor: Harry Secombe, Mark Lester, Oliver Reed, Ron Moody, Shani Wallis
Director: Carol Reed, Ronald Saland
Brand: LESTER,MARK
Cinematographer: Oswald Morris
Producer: John Woolf
Writer: Charles Dickens
Writer: Jay Anson
Writer: Lionel Bart
Writer: Vernon Harris
DVD: Region Code 1
Audio: English (Unknown), Dolby Digital 5.1; English (Subtitled); French (Subtitled); English (Original Language), Dolby Digital 5.1; French (Original Language), Dolby Digital 2.0 Surround
Format: Anamorphic, Closed-captioned, Color, DVD, NTSC, Widescreen
Picture Format: 2.35:1
Running Time: 153 minutes
DVD Release Date: 1998-08-11
Audience Rating: G (General Audience)
Studio: Sony Pictures Home Entertainment

DVD Reviews of Oliver!

DVD Review: Twist? I Used to Love to Twist!
Summary: 1 Stars

What is it with all this running and jumping, tumbling and spritzing? All these little cockers, why weren't those children in school?

I, Yasha J. Banana, your 96-years-old Amazon movie reviewer, while I don't go back as far as Charles Dickens, can assure you that in my day little children weren't running around the streets picking people's pockets, rolling on the ground, leaping from furniture and running into buildings. Ho boy! After I watched this movie I was out of breath. It took me 15 minutes to get my heart started again.

Didn't the people who made this movie ever hear of child labor laws?

When I was a kid, do you think I picked pockets? Never! NEVER! These kinderlekhs, these litle brats -- they couldn't learn a trade? There wasn't anybody in London back then who could teach them to block hats or maybe fix yo-yos?

A decent trade, that's what they needed. A decent trade, a cup coco and an orange, that's what every boychick needs, minimum.

Later on they can take in a partner.

Also, these kids never heard of Barney's Boy's Town? Or Walmart's Boy's Department? A pressed pair of pants they couldn't steal? ... A bar of soap was locked in a vault? ... A decent pair of shoes weren't invented?

Listen, I don't mean to be picky, and far be it for me to insist on realism, but all these people living in a hovel -- Fagan, the Dead End Kids, rogue elements of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir -- and how many bathrooms were there? Huh? All you feency-schmeency movie reviewing maven, did you ever think of that? I didn't see one crapper in the whole movie. Not a flush or a fart in the entire show.

Kids love to fart, but I didn't hear one. Not a peep, not a titter. Where's the realism? Where's the verisimilitude? Let just two of my great-grandchildren come over and what happens, they immediately start farting and then they blame it on me. "Grandpa Yasha is farting, Mama! Grandpa Yasha is farting, Mama!"

Charles Dickens, I doubt very much, had kids. Maybe one, two -- but a hovel full? Who's kidding who? And then what, a senior citizen takes them into the streets to pick pockets all day? Listen, take it form me, your typical senior citizen gets tired watching paint dry. Besides which, once he got them all outside, I guarantee you, half of them would have to go tinkle. Or worse.

Job himself would have started throwing those kids out the window. Alphabetically.

And the woman in the movie who's supposed to be the mother-figure, Nancy. Oh, what a grand old time she had! Dancing around the place with the kids: singing, laughing, carrying on. Do you know the only time I danced with my mother? It was back in 1921 when I was seven-years-old -- right after she gave me an enema. Such dancing on the way to the crapper you never saw in your life!

And, mind you, this wasn't no Fleet's enema. A Fleet's enema couldn't clean out a chicken, believe me. This was an enema bag she held over her head like the Sword of Damacles. Big as a Voit basketball.

But what do you care about my bowel movements, past or present?

Getting back to this Nancy dame. ... She didn't care if any of the kids married outside their faith? Okay, okay, so who am I to express an opinion; but a real mother would have asked a question here and there, don't you think?

And poor Charles Dickens. When did he write a musical about crazy people dancing in the streets in the slums with the rats and the dreck? And what about his descendants? -- did they make a few dollars from this movie, from all the hocking and schlepping and tumbling and spritzing?

In conclusion, and so that I shouldn't say another word on the subjecte ... Ron Moody, the fellow who plays Fagan, a nice Jewish man. Almost as old as me. And Mark Lester, the boychick who plays Oliver, also a Jew. But, fellows, you need this? You couldn't get into a movie where you sit in front of a computer and blow up half of Manhattan; or else knock off a bank for a few billion dollars? Since when do Jewish boys spin and do cartwheels and throw thmselves against walls, already?

I don't know, maybe life has passed me by; at 96-years-old if it wasn't for my two martinis and my Rosary I'd never make it through the day.

... Rosary, get dressed and make me two martinis!

More Oliver! reviews:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

Description of Oliver!

Experience the high-spirited adventures of Oliver Twist in this Oscar(r)-winning musical adaptation of Charles Dickens' classic tale! Young Oliver (Mark Lester) is an orphan who escapes the cheerless life of the workhouse and takes to the streets of 19th-Century London. He's immediately taken in by a band of street urchins, headed by the lovable villain, Fagin (Ron Moody), his fiendish henchman, Bill Sikes (Oliver Reed), and his loyal apprentice, The Artful Dodger (Jack Wild). Through his education in the fine points of pick-pocketing, Oliver makes away with an unexpected treasure... a home and a family of his own. Set to a heartfelt score that includes such favorites as "Consider Yourself," "Where Is Love?" and "As Long As He Needs Me," Oliver! leads us on a journey in search of love, belonging, and honor among thieves. Winner of six Academy Awards(r) (1968), including Best Picture and Best Score, Oliver! will steal your heart!
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