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Never Cry Werewolf by Brenton Spencer
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DVD detailsActor: Kevin Sorbo, Melanie Leishman, Nina Dobrev, Peter Stebbings, Spencer Van Wyck Director: Brenton Spencer Brand: Genius Writer: John Sheppard DVD: Region Code 1 Audio: English (Unknown); English (Original Language) Format: Color, DVD, NTSC, Widescreen Picture Format: 1.66:1 Running Time: 87 minutes DVD Release Date: 2008-09-16 Audience Rating: Unrated Studio: Grodfilm
DVD Reviews of Never Cry WerewolfDVD Review: Watchable, but offers little else Summary: 2 Stars
"Never Cry Werewolf" is the very definition of horror lite. I'm about sick and tired of PG-13 DVD's being advertised as "unrated". Don't get me wrong, this isn't an unwatchable mess of a film that will leave you angry about the 90 minutes of your life you can never get back, but if you watch werewolf movies for gore, nudity, and terror than don't hesitate to pass this by. This is another intended for the tween crowd.
The lead actress is one thing this flick has going for it. Doe-eyed brunette cutie-pie Nina Dobrev pretty much carries this entire film and she does a pretty solid job at it. Geek demi-icon Kevin Sorbo (Hercules The Legendary Journeys) is slightly amusing as a celebrity outdoorsman tapped by our heroine to help her take out her new neighbor, who for some reason can turn into a werewolf at will by wrapping a strip of some pervert's neckskin around his knuckles. Yeeeeaaaah, the werewolf mythology on this one is shaky at best. Also, he can bite people and apparently turn them into living lycanthropic plastic surgery disasters. Whatever. Throw in a pathetic love interest with awful emo hair, an annoying little brother, the creepiest dog this side of Cujo, and a pot of eyeball stew and you've got a lame-but-watchable horror romp that even my two year old son laughed at. A lot. There's some blood splatter going on, but very little actual gore unless you count a wolf exploding into translucent goo as gore. I do not.
While "Never Cry Werewolf" offers some creeps, a hot protagonist, and a pretty cool werewolf (realistic: no. Cool: yes.) there is not enough to scratch that horror itch. There is however, some cannibalism which can only help. The movie doesn't take itself too seriously, which is good. But probably half of the scenes are ripped off wholesale from other films. That is bad. Couple making out in car hears noise, boy steps out to investigate upon girl's urging. Gee, I wonder what happens next? Lameness, that's what. Telepathic werewolf: why?!?! Reincarnated lost love? That's not even a werewolf movie convention, that's either a mummy or a crummy vampire flick! Come on! They even rip off Hitchcock, though I imagine a lot of people will think it's Shia Lebouf being robbed. I can say that I've genuinely never seen a werewolf take a hostage to use as a human shield to protect himself from the assault of a teenage girl before. I wish I could still say that. So much wrong.
As bad as this movie is, it is still better than Cursed, and that one had gore. There is some smirk-worthy humor, a few genuinely creepy bits -most involving that damn dog-, and did I mention the attractiveness of the lead actress? All-around a watchable movie, but just don't go in thinking you're getting a full-on unrated frightfest. This is a bare-bones release, but I don't imagine there'd be any special features I'd actually want to watch anyway. Have a look if you're in a light-hearted mood and have seen every other werewolf movie. And if you have seen every other werewolf movie; my condolences on having sat through the unspeakably terrible Howling sequels. Those make this one look like An American Werewolf in London.
2 1/2 stars, rounded down for false advertising.
Again, do not sell a PG-13 DVD with an "unrated"label! I will cut you if I find you.
More Never Cry Werewolf reviews: 1 2 3 4 5
Description of Never Cry WerewolfStudio: Genius Products Inc Release Date: 09/16/2008 Run time: 90 minutes
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