Miss Cast Away & The Island Girls
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DVD details
Actor: Holly Beavon, Jennifer Amy, Kamilla Bjorlin, Kate Clarke, Scott FortesBrand: Vanguard
DVD: Region Code 1
Audio: English (Original Language)
Format: Closed-captioned, Color, DVD-Video, NTSC
Picture Format: 1.33:1
Running Time: 90 minutes
DVD Release Date: 2005-07-28
Audience Rating: NR (Not Rated)
Studio: Vanguard Cinema
DVD Reviews of Miss Cast Away & The Island Girls
DVD Review: Tongue in cheek with a big popcorn bowl
Summary: 4 Stars
Funny. To get all the schlocky humor, you must have seen many other movies.
Recommended to movie buffs. ENJOY YOUR POPCORN!
DVD Review: An insult to human intelligence!
Summary: 1 Stars
I'm going to have to agree with most of the previous reviewers in saying that this is indeed the worst of films compared to other spoofs out there.
There are no words to describe how AWFUL (!!!) this `movie' was from beginning to end, but let me try anyway so as to give people a fair chance to avoid it and thus try and prevent their day/evening from being ruined.
Miss Cast Away & The Island Girls, follows in the footsteps of Date Movie, Shriek if You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th, Epic Movie, and the Scary Movie series, and is a parody of several films including Forrest Gump, Planet of the Apes, Men in Black, Cast Away, The Sixth Sense, and The Green Mile among others.
The major setback is in relation to the acting (or lack of it); that is to say that the cast are badly in need of acting lessons (even Eric Roberts was pathetic)! The acting-oh my- the acting is beyond words...
School plays (and pre-school for that matter) have better actors! It is truly sad...
Another weakness is in relation to the very poor dialogues and the weak plot/storyline for which the writers and director are to blame.
In essence, the film might have had potential if only the writers/director had the ability to... write and direct! A shame really...
In a nutshell, you mind find it amusing if you're under 13 and/or are heavily intoxicated, and that's about it. Rent or buy (ha ha ha) at your own risk. You have been warned!
DVD Review: Couldn't hate it more
Summary: 1 Stars
While this was an incredibly bad movie, it's not the kind where you will say "it's so bad, it's good." More likely you'd say "I'm really angry I wasted ninety minutes of my life watching that." Personally I hated it so much I trampled the dvd box cover, wishing the whole time that it was the director's head. A plane containing beauty contestants crashes, and the babes must survive on a desert island inhabited by a giant prehistoric pig and failed extras from Planet of the Apes. There's also a thin love story and there's Michael Jackson, a hologram secret agent who decrees the castaways must destroy Noah's Ark to save the Earth. There are a couple mysteries about this film. Why did a talented actor like Eric Roberts agree to join the cast? Did he have gambling debts? Was he blackmailed? And then there's Michael Jackson. Why did they want him for this movie? And with the horrendous jokes and largely incompetent acting, why would he want to be in it? Supremely bad career move. You'll be really mad at yourself if you spend the time or, God forbid, money to watch it. DVD Review: Effects Budget
Summary: 5 Stars
I am responsible for the cheesy effects--which WERE, in fact, done on my home computer! The effects budget was low...really low--$8,000. Plus the director promised another $8,000 deferrment (I have found that this means that you will probably never see it, LOL).
But it was a lot of fun to work on, and I got to learn a lot too.
DVD Review: Three Minutes of Michael Jackson, and Painfully Long and Terribly Bad Spoof
Summary: 1 Stars
The most famous person included in this terribly unfunny comedy is Michael Jackson, whose face you can see on DVD cover. But remember, Michael Jackson is in the film for about 3 minutes (or maybe more) and you have to wait more than one hour to see him as 'Agent M.J.'
As the title suggests, the film is a spoof of many of recent hit films ranging from 'Cast Away' 'Miss Congeniality' 'The Sixth Sense' 'Catch Me If You Can' etc. The comedy is in the vein of 'Airplane!' so Eric Roberts plays the caddish pilot of an airplane flying to Japan, carrying beauty pagents. But my point is not its story, nor low-budget origin.
The problem is, 'Miss Cast Away and the Island Girls' needs much, much, much more jokes and gags, clever or gross or whatever funny to sustain its 90 minutes. You need to think of jokes better than saying 'I can see dead people' and show the lookalike of Elvis and Chaplin. The film has no hilarious mood that Abrams/Zucker/Zucker had imbued their classic comedy with.
Films like 'Naked Gun' 'Hot Shots!' and 'Austin Power' in fact spend so much energy to create tons of silly gags, and that's how they work. They are made with one minute one gag (or more) basis, and we keep watching, enjoying the show. 'Miss Cast Away' only repeats the same pattern of jokes over and over again. In 'The Island' you can see one fierce creature, actually a big bad pig named 'Jurassic Pork' with a subtitle 'Jurassic Pork' and ... there's nothing more, well, except it attacks the poor passangers on the beach. And one of them is eaten by the animal. If you think it's funny, it's your film.
I know no one watches this kind of film to see great CGIs, but the cheesy special effects of this film make me wonder whether it is meant as serious or joke. 'Jurassic Pork' is one example, of which effects are worse than the animations in the pop-ups. I think it is intentional, but even so, the slack timing and editing makes it look like otherwise.
Anyway, this is not my cup of tea as one old lady (perhaps the director's own mother) at the end credit says. Believe me or not, she is much funnier than most of the jokes in the film.
Description of Miss Cast Away & The Island Girls
When a plane load of beauty contestants are transported from the u.S. To japan for a pgeant the plane goes off course & crash lands on a deserted island. There the castaways find noahs ark & the consequences threaten the universe! this spoofs todays biggest blockbuster films. Studio: Vanguard Cinema Release Date: 07/26/2005 Starring: Michael Jackson Evan Marriott Run time: 90 minutes Rating: NrGeneral DVDs
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