Meteor
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DVD details
Actor: Billy Campbell, Christopher Lloyd, Marla Sokoloff, Michael Rooker, Stacy KeachBrand: Genius
DVD: Region Code 1
Audio: English (Unknown); English (Original Language)
Format: Color, DVD, NTSC, Widescreen
Picture Format: 1.66:1
Running Time: 240 minutes
DVD Release Date: 2009-09-01
Audience Rating: Unrated
Studio: Rhi Entertainment
Product features:
- METEOR (DVD MOVIE)
DVD Reviews of Meteor
DVD Review: Bad at every level
Summary: 1 Stars
This is an excuse-for-a-movie that is so bad, I think everyone associated with it (writers, director, producer, NBC execs) should commit honorable suicide or at least resign in shame and vow to work no more making video for public consumption. Because we may never know if the writers were just incapable of doing anything beyond mish-mashing clips of other disaster tales together, if the producers forced them or if the network nitwits required it, proper extermination of this mental virus may be impossible. The network should demand their money back and every viewer should collect $200 for the mental impairment this movie causes. Also the producers should be shipped off to Gitmo as mental terrorists because this is a disaster film that LIES.
First, the science is WRONG at every level. Incoming meteors come at 25,000 mph and cannot be shot down by shoulder held Stinger missiles or even Patriot Missiles. The big asteroid behaves like an oil tanker that's lost its rudder, not a real asteroid. The larger asteroids are depicted as low orbiting satellites that are falling "slowly" to earth. Even so, there's no way to shoot them down. The ultimate big rock that hot science bimbo Imogene slaps with a flight of nukes cannot be diverted as described. Nasa has already run that scenario and it is proven impossible.
Second, the characters are all wrong. Imogene bimbo, holding the key to save the world, cannot even express herself: "Call JPL, this number, this name, ask them why you need to let me have a phone" is all she needs to say, and yet the too-dumb-to-breathe writers won't let the character talk. The policeman continually acts against law enforcement training and techniques to enable the crazed killer to escape. Bad writer bad. The hot-doctor-chick is also dumb as bread. "We have no more medicine in the hospital, eeek," she says. But when tall male drone husband asks, "What about the pharmacy, the pharmacy has medicine?" she squees "Oh why didn't I think of that..." Would you let this goof even take your pulse? Dialog sucks, bad writer, greedy director who failed to put a foot down and say no.
Third, the drama is all wrong. With the world about to be smashed with a giant rock, there's lots of stories that could be told that are part of that story arc, but instead this idiotic crap spends major time showing characters moving rocks from one pile to another. When the hospital collapses, the film follows not one but three groups of characters digging rubble: doctor-mom digging in for access, teen boy digging for a needed oxygen bottle, and tall male accompanied by tall emergency worker. That's three character groups all seen doing the same repetitive physical action. None of these sequences have anything to do with the main story, and belong to a building fell down drama or a "there's been a cave in at the mine" story. Oh, yes, then a tiny asteroid hits our anti-asteroid command base, and they get to pile up rubble too. GAD!
Finally, the geography is all wrong. We can cut the Hollywood TV nitwits some slack for not understanding astrophysics cause that is a hard topic. The fact that the whole story is based on orbital mechanics might make us think that they'd at least try to grasp the basics, but oh, well. What is really unforgivable is that no one can even read a map of Southern California. The homey just-plain-folks story and crazy killer sub-plot are set in Taft, California. Imogene science bimbo is tied to a major plot element that has her attempting to enter the US from Mexico, probably Tijuana. Imogene needs to get to JPL. Problem. Apparently no one associated with this production noticed that the Mexican border is 130 south of JPL on the 5 Freeway and Taft is 100 miles north of JPL on the 5 Freeway. Now Imogene is a brain dead bimbo, but she has to drive 100 miles right past her destination to end up in the clutches of the crazy killer in the last act.
What, are TV people so arrogant that they think the viewers can't read a map?
Maybe this is an intelligence test or maybe the writers were paid so little they concocted this pile of nonsense to embarrass the producers.
This is not so bad it is good, like Plan 9 from outer space, it is just bad.
Description of Meteor
Get ready for heart-pounding action, incredible special effects and edge-of-your-seat suspense! When renowned scientist Dr. Lehman (Christopher Lloyd, Back to the Future) makes the terrifying discovery that a meteor three times the size of Mount Everest is plummeting towards Earth, he begins a desperate quest to save humanity. Battling government corruption and racing against the clock, Lehman and his assistant (Marla Sokoloff, ?The Practice?) strive to uncover the truth and avoid disaster of unparalleled proportions. Featuring a powerhouse cast, including Stacy Keach (?Prison Break?), Billy Campbell (?Once and Again?), Jason Alexander (?Seinfeld?) and Michael Rooker (JFK), Meteor is the ultimate adrenaline-charged adventure.Stills from Meteor (Click for larger image)
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