In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale [Blu-ray]
by Uwe Boll
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Blu-ray details
Actor: Jason Statham, John Rhys-Davies, Leelee Sobieski, Ray Liotta, Ron PerlmanDirector: Uwe Boll
Brand: Twentieth Century Fox
Producer: Brandon Baker
Producer: Bryan C. Knight
Producer: Chet Holmes
Writer: Chris Taylor
Writer: Dan Stroncak
Writer: Doug Taylor
Writer: Jason Rappaport
Audio: English (Subtitled); Spanish (Subtitled); English (Original Language); French (Dubbed); Spanish (Dubbed)
Format: AC-3, Color, Director's Cut, Dolby, DTS Surround Sound, Dubbed, Subtitled, Widescreen
Picture Format: 2.35:1
Running Time: 127 minutes
Blu-ray Release Date: 2008-12-16
Audience Rating: PG-13 (Parental Guidance Suggested)
Studio: 20th Century Fox
Blu-ray Reviews of In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale [Blu-ray]
Blu-ray Review: You have no idea how terrifying Boll can be
Summary: 1 Stars
Once upon a time, a brilliant and talented cult director made a spectacular fantasy epic, full of love, monsters, epic battles and noble kings. It became a cinematic classic.
This is not that movie.
But that doesn't stop Uwe Boll from inflicting another ghastly video-game adaptation on the innocent viewing public, after scrabbling for high-fantasy shreds straight from the wastepaper basket of Peter Jackson. It's not quite his worst work, but it's still a horrendous, vomitous, hilariously wretched experience that inspires pain, tears of laughter, and perhaps a drinking game or two.
A farmer wittily named Farmer (Jason Statham) is living in agricultural bliss with his wife (Claire Forlani) and son. But then a bunch of krugs (low-budget orcs) attack -- kid dies, wife is kidnapped. Naturally Farmer vows bloody gruesome revenge, and teams up with his brother-in-law and neighbor (Ron Perlman, who deserves better than this) to help get said revenge.
But of course, this is no isolated incident -- the unspeakable windbag King Konreid (Burt Reynolds) and his hired wizard Merick (John Rhys-Davies) are opposing the malevolent wizard (Ray Liotta) and his vast army of faceless krugs. But naturally it falls to our humble butt-kicking Farmer to somehow defeat the evil wizard and save the day. And yes, the climax will involve killer books.
It's damning "In the Dane of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale" with faint praise to say that this is among Uwe Boll's better efforts. After all, this is not only the director who showed his cinematic ability by literally pummeling his critics -- this is the director who has produced some of the dreckiest, most ghastly films ever to make it into distribution (rather than direct-to-DVD).
As a fantasy experience, "In the Name of the King" is dull, drab and shlocky. The settings are pretty but overcast, the "fantasy" moments are intensely cheesy (swinging on leafy ropes!), and the fight scenes are well-choreographed but full of wild anachronisms -- including kung-fu. Seriously. Despite a relatively big budget, "In the Name of the King" feels like a bunch of dudes went to a Renaissance Faire and decided to stage their own fantasy film. After a few beers.
Granted, none of that inherently marks it as an Uwe Boll film. That is reserved for random ninja that show up (you can hear Boll thinking, "Eff Jackson! It's my fantasy movie, so I can have what I want -- and I want NINJAS!"), humble farmers who fight like Jet Li, maudlin dramatic moments, and truly ghastly dialogue. When it isn't stilted ("Those who you fight... we will help you fight them") it's hilariously pompous ("Wisdom is our hammer").
At the same time, Boll is shamelessly aping Jackson's "Lord of the Rings." No, not just the sets and makeup, although many of these are shamelessly (and less realistically) cribbed. He attempts the same sweeping cinematography and score, but inserted at random and without any kind of dramatic payoff. By the finale, we've also been assaulted by airy elfin sprites who desperately need a smackdown from Legolas' long-knives.
As for the characters, you can find them in any rotten half-baked "high fantasy" novel -- aging king, treacherous noble, good wizard, bad wizard, and valiant peasants. The actors appear to be painfully aware of this fact.
To make matters worse, Statham is playing the same role he's basically played in dozens of other movies -- the stone-faced man of action out to kick some butt. It feels like someone cut-and-pasted the dude from "Transporter" right into this movie. Reynolds creakily sleepwalks through his rotten speeches, and Liotta has apparently decided to embrace the sheer silliness and run with it. As for Kristanna Loken... well, she played Bloodrayne. Nuff zed about her acting ability.
The only cast members who manage to bring any kind of dignity to their roles are Perlman and Rhys-Davies. Rhys-Davies actually works quite well as a kindly old wizard, while Perlman brings more presence and power to the screen than Statham does.
With that in mind, turning out a "Director's Cut" is a little like sprucing up the label of a strychnine bottle, and making a blu-ray is like using a magnifying glass on a decaying log. So of course they're turning one out -- a 162-minute director's cut with forty five extra minutes of Boll's work. Somehow I doubt that given the horrific quality of those first 120 minutes, that those cut minutes will improve matters -- the theatrical version was already too long for its ghastly flimsy storyline.
You can guess what kind of movie "In the Name of the King - A Dungeon Siege Tale" will be just by its title, but it dips into new levels of ghastly cheeze that few fantasy movies have managed to. A milestone in fantasy cinema -- the worst of its kind thus far.
Description of In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale [Blu-ray]
Studio: Tcfhe Release Date: 12/16/2008 Run time: 162 minutes Rating: Pg13Bestsellers in DVD
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