Hardware Wars (The Original - Collector's Edition)
by Ernie Fosselius
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DVD details
Actor: Bob Knickerbocker, Cindy Furgatch, Frank Robertson, Jeff Hale, Scott MathewsDirector: Ernie Fosselius
Writer: Ernie Fosselius
DVD: Region Code 1
Audio: English (Original Language), Unknown
Format: Color, DVD, Full Screen, NTSC
Picture Format: 1.33:1
Running Time: 13 minutes
DVD Release Date: 2002-04-23
Audience Rating: Unrated
Studio: Michael Wiese Productions
DVD Reviews of Hardware Wars (The Original - Collector's Edition)
DVD Review: "You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll kiss three bucks goodbye!"
Summary: 4 Stars
Not long after George Lucas' original "Star Wars" film took theaters throughout the world by storm in 1977, a very silly 13-minute long parody entitled "Hardware Wars" was filmed in 1978 by writer/director Ernie Fosselius. The parody, designed as a long film trailer, replaces the authentic special effects and models used in "Star Wars" with low-budget replacements, mostly in the form of household appliances. For example, the Lucas' Millenium Falcon in "Hardware Wars" is an electric iron, the Death Star is a waffle iron, an imperial cruiser is an electric mixer, and the squat droid R2-D2 becomes a canister vacuum cleaner called "Artee-Deco". As with Artee-Deco, the other characters from Lucas' "Star Wars" are transformed in "Hardware Wars" as follows: C3PO becomes 4-Q-2 (like the tin-man from the 1939 "The Wizard of Oz"), Han Solo becomes Ham Salad (Bob Knickerbocker), Chewbacca becomes the Muppet-like Chucilla (similar to the "Sesame Street" cookie monster), Princess Leia becomes Princess Anne-Droid (Cindy Furgatch, who wears round rolls on the sides of her head), Luke Skywalker becomes Fluke Starbucker (Scott Mathews), Obi-Wan 'Ben' Kenobi becomes Augie 'Ben' Doggie (Jeff Hale) and Darth Vader becomes Darf Nader, who is impossible to understand due to his welding-style helmet.
Clearly, not everyone who watches "Hardware Wars" finds it funny; but for most sci-fi aficionados, it's totally priceless! One of my favorite scenes is the equivalent of the demonstration of how powerful the Death Star is: instead of blowing up the planet of Alderan, it blows up the planet of Basketball (a literal basketball). Equally ridiculous and funny is the intentionally bad and sometimes melodramatic acting. Of course, you don't want to miss the exciting special effects of "dyna-space", as presented in "Hardware Wars". Consequently, for being a completely hilarious spoof of "Star Wars" filmed on a meager budget of $8,000, I rate "Hardware Wars" with 4 out of 5 stars. It is interesting to note that Ernie Fosselius provided some voice work and some other miscellaneous work in Lucas' 1983 film "Star Wars VI: The Return of the Jedi". Clearly, George Lucas was not upset with Fosselius' parody.
Description of Hardware Wars (The Original - Collector's Edition)
San Francisco filmmaker Ernie Fosselius made the most successful short film of all time in the 1978 Hardware Wars, an inspired, mock-trailer for a nonexistent, cheapo rip-off of Star Wars. It worked like this: instead of Chewbacca, Fosselius offers the Cookie Monster. Instead of Darth Vader's breathy, slightly echoed voice emerging somehow behind that black-mask helmet, we get a villain whose every ranting utterance is so muffled even this film's Princess Leia equivalent beseeches him, "What? I don't understand you." And so on. Part of the joke is that George Lucas's revolutionary special effects are supplanted by common kitchen gizmos--mixers, toasters--that serve as spaceships and weapons sources. The updated special edition contains 20 computer-generated "special defects" that don't--the distributor boasts--at all match Fosselius's earlier version. Um... right on? --Tom KeoghBestsellers in DVD
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