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Golgo 13: The Professional by Osamu Dezaki
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DVD detailsActor: Edie Mirman, Gregory Snegoff, Joyce Kurtz, Michael McConnohie, Mike Reynolds Director: Osamu Dezaki Brand: Urban Vision Cinematographer: Hirokata Takahashi Producer: Carl Macek Producer: Mataichirô Yamamoto Producer: Nobuo Inada Producer: Yutaka Fujioka Writer: Shûkei Nagasaka Writer: Takao Saitô DVD: Region Code 1 Audio: English (Subtitled); English (Original Language); Japanese (Original Language) Format: Animated, Color, Dolby, DVD, NTSC, Subtitled Picture Format: 1.33:1 Running Time: 95 minutes DVD Release Date: 2005-11-01 Audience Rating: Unrated Studio: Urban Vision
DVD Reviews of Golgo 13: The ProfessionalDVD Review: A Generic Samurai movie...with an M16 Summary: 1 Stars
I'd like to say that this movie was a great flick which showcased the legend that is Golgo 13. I'd like to say that because I personally like the character and what he stands for. Golgo 13, in case you don't know, is a rare breed. He is an assassin who acts with the highest level of decorum, who has no personal attachments to his job, and most importantly he is never used to pose moral questions. That's something you can't find these days in either American or Japanese characters.
However, I can't say anything positive about this movie, as it slanders all that is Golgo 13.
Picture the cheesiest Samurai movie you can. Now, replace the main character with an assassin with a sniper rifle. Leave everything else the same, only change a few names. (The high ranking families become big business, and the shogunate become the CIA and the FBI)
The gist of the movie is that Golgo 13 kills the heir to a huge American oil corporation, who is the owner's first son. The owner wants revenge on Golgo 13, and everyone in the world who has issue with Golgo 13 jumps on this bandwagon.
That doesn't sound too bad, until you see how it is implemented. The CIA apparently employs "legendary assassins" who do not use guns. Instead, these 3 goons fight with arcane melee weapons. Oh, and they're pretty crazy. Just like token Samurai movie villains. One assassin lost his hand and replaced it with a hook. One assassin fights with a dagger, which he has to lick while using. The last of these "world-class CIA assassins" impales his victims with gigantic railroad spikes.
Yes, these guys are employed by the CIA. Not exactly Michael Westin or Jason Bourne.
But they don't live long. They are defeated by the greatest assassin in the employ of the US Government, a preposterous beast of a man who works as a hitman for, get this, the US AIR FORCE! Because the USAF is known for its assassins. This man is heavily jaundiced (his skin is Homer Simpson yellow), is 8 feet or so tall, has a 2 foot neck, no teeth, and can climb up and down horizontal steel surfaces. He has a snake like tongue and eyes, and speaks in a manner that could only be described as "snakelike" through his blackened, toothless gums. (This is apparently the result of the USAF's genetically engineered super soldier program. Yes, I'm serious.)
*It should be pointed out that the CIA's assassins were slain by this preposterous man to settle a bet between the CIA and the USAF as to who had the greatest assassin, and the winner would get to go after Golgo
Oh, and lest I forget, in this movie the FBI operates openly in foreign countries, using heavy weaponry and dozens of men to wantonly destroy foreign property. The FBI uses dozens of men armed with assault rifles, a truck mounted mini-gun, and several grenades to completely level an ancient Sicilian church.
The movie is also heavily, and cheesily, melodramatic. The first "showdown" consists of Golgo parking his car on the beach, exiting, and taking aim at a woman charging him. She is mounted on a white steed (Yes, she is on a horse), and tries to shoot him from several hundred yards with a compact submachine gun. A showdown on the beach. Just one of many examples.
The movie only goes downhill from here. The original Golgo 13 is a stoic man who is devoted to the utmost. He is tacit and does not make snide comments, indeed being opinionated would be a mar on his professional pride. In this movie his is comparatively loquacious, and he drops an obscene amount of snide commentary. He arguably even lets someone get behind him, which the true Golgo 13 never would.
If you want to see the original Golgo 13 in action, check out the 2008 show released in America by Sentai Filmworks. It's even on Amazon(Golgo 13: Collection 1). 50 episodes of a modern assassin getting the job done by any means necessary in a modern world. No anachronistic Samurai movie elements, no cliched moral messages, no deviation from the central theme. He's a man with a mission, and nothing stands in his way. That is the true Golgo 13, and you won't find him in this movie.
Golgo 13: The Professional is an insult both to the character Golgo 13 and the movie The Professional (Leon).
More Golgo 13: The Professional reviews: 1 2 3 4
Description of Golgo 13: The ProfessionalOn his 62nd birthday, oil baron Leonard Dawson witnesses the public assassination of his son and heir, Robert. From this point on, Leonard becomes obsessed with revenge on the hitman?code name: GOLGO 13. Dawson spares nothing to enlist the CIA, FBI, and U.S. military in an unrelenting manhunt for his son's killer. As GOLGO's survival depends on stopping Dawson himself, the hunter and the hunted chase each other in a breathless game of kill or be killed.
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