Deuce Bigalow - European Gigolo
by Mike Bigelow
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Actor: Douglas Sills, Eddie Griffin, Jeroen Krabbé, Rob Schneider, Til SchweigerDirector: Mike Bigelow
Brand: Sony
Writer: Rob Schneider
Producer: Adam Sandler
Producer: Glenn S. Gainor
Producer: Jack Giarraputo
Writer: David Garrett
Writer: Harris Goldberg
Writer: Jason Ward
DVD: Region Code 99
Audio: English (Unknown), Dolby Digital 5.1; English (Subtitled); French (Subtitled); Dutch (Original Language); English (Original Language), Dolby Digital 5.1; French (Dubbed)
Format: AC-3, Color, Dolby, Dubbed, DVD, NTSC, Subtitled, Widescreen
Picture Format: Anamorphic Widescreen, 1.85:1
Running Time: 83 minutes
DVD Release Date: 2005-11-29
Audience Rating: R (Restricted)
Studio: Sony Pictures Home Entertainment
DVD Reviews of Deuce Bigalow - European Gigolo
DVD Review: "Instead Of A Nose, I Was Born With An Appendage On My Face."
Summary: 1 Stars
I was curious about this movie for one reason, and one reason only: the prominent position it holds in Roger Ebert's new (and wonderful) book "Your Movie Sucks." Ebert does not often mention his Pulitzer Prize, but did so in the introduction to his new book in defense of a fellow journalist with his extremely pointed and apt statement "Speaking in my official capacity as a Pulitzer Prize winner, Mr. Schneider, your movie sucks." There is a much longer story than that behind this statement, and I highly recommend you read the book for a full account of the happenings that brought it about.
As far as the movie goes, it is vile, disgusting, repulsive, and worst of all decidedly not funny: it utterly fails to live up to the standards Schneider sets in his other films.
The film begins with an explanation of how Deuce's wife was eaten on their honeymoon by a shark. To prove his undying love for her, he carries one of her prosthetic legs around with him wherever he goes (until the closing credits when an old woman makes it into a bong, anyway). Deuce (Schneider) is befriended by his old friend T.J. (Eddie Griffin) who now lives in Amsterdam. T.J. is the alleged straight man (sort of) and is wrongly accused of murder. He also eats French fries and fights off an eight pound housecat in what was but the first of many revolting scenes. Deuce falls for Eva, a fellow ichthyologist, and is entranced by her sketch of a "Sudanese Sweetlips," which actually is a real fish. In the meantime, we discover that Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is hilarious; this foreshadows the unpleasant case of dwarf tossing later in the film.
Deuce gets to date a variety of women in his undercover occupation. I will hit the highlights by mentioning that he gets to wear diapers for a giantess; he escorts a woman who has had a laryngectomy to a fancy restaurant, and is able to provoke a fountain of red wine to shoot from the stoma in her neck (do not inquire about her case of hiccups or the subsequent use of the stoma in the plot resolution...it is so heinous, I will not discuss the matter further); finally he escorts a woman wearing a veil who explains that she is from Chernobyl, and the her mother worked in the nuclear power plant while she was pregnant. She then elaborates further that she is wearing the veil because "instead of a nose, I was born with an appendage on my face." Need I say more? Do not even think about her sneezing fit on the dance floor. Really. Don't think about it.
The movie's alleged plot involves a killer of male prostitutes loose in Amsterdam, and the action peaks at an awards ceremony. The plot is resolved by the worst use of swordplay in screen history (and a special guest appearance by the stoma of fate.) The film then concludes with the worst ever "where are they now" vignettes ever committed to celluloid.
The DVD has many extras, including a "making of" short (see how the nasal appendage was created!), a casting reel, and an extra on the making of T.J.'s "Float Crib." It was more bearable than the film, but only marginally so.
After viewing this film (surely Schneider's very worst) I can only think that Roger Ebert was extremely generous in his appraisal. I would not recommend this film to any human being or other vertebrate of any kind.
Description of Deuce Bigalow - European Gigolo
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