Austin Powers in Goldmember

Austin Powers in Goldmember
by Jay Roach

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DVD details

• Beyond the Movie Features - Documentaries * MI-6 International Men of Mystery * Fashion vs. Fiction * Disco Fever * English, English * Fact Track Trivia Subtitle Track with Direct Access to Additional Features
• All-Access Pass Features * Filmmaker Commentary with Jay Roach & Mike Myers * The World of Austin Powers - Jay Roach & Mike Myers: Creative Convergence * Confluence of Characters: Goldmember, Foxxy Cleopatra, Nigel Powers, Masters Powers & Evil * Opening Stunts * The Cars of Austin Powers in Goldmember
• Anatomy of 3 scenes: Dancing at the Gates, Roller Disco, Sumo Battle * Visual FX Segment * Theatrical & Teaser Trailers
• Deleted and Alternate Scenes with optional director commentary * Music Videos: Beyonce Knowles - Work It Out * Britney Spears - Boys * Ming Tea - Daddy Wasn't There * Dr. Evil & Mini-Me - Hard Knock Life
• DVD-ROM Content * Revoice Studio - Use your voice to record dialogue in 12 hilarious scenes * Exclusive Access to Online Infinifilm Features * And More!

DVD Reviews of Austin Powers in Goldmember

DVD Review: An Open Letter To Mike Myers
Summary: 2 Stars

As a fellow survivor of suburban Toronto (you grew up in Scarborough, while I spent my formative years in Thornhill), I feel like I can say this to you with impunity:

STOP MAKING AUSTIN POWERS MOVIES.

I admit, I wasn't bowled over by "Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery". It made me laugh more than most contemporary comedies, but it always felt completely disposable. After the "The Spy Who Shagged Me", I felt annoyed that so many of the same jokes had been recycled. Now, you've gone and done it again with "Goldmember". Here, jokes that proved popular in the first two movies are given a third turn through the ringer, and the results, for the most part, are uncomfortable and undignified. To your credit, you recognize that the same turf is being covered, but the references you make to this self-awareness come across more like excuses than meta-humour. Example: The third entry into the Zip-it/Pshhh canon was totally incomprehensible. What exactly was this little scene about? Scott's realization that he's about to go down the same path for the third time -- along with his resulting ennui -- doesn't quite save the scene like you'd like it; rather, it should have served as a warning call to you, the screenwriter, that the joke is tired and maybe you should just let it sleep. Or, better yet, pull the plug. The second moment of self-awareness, which contains one of the film's many celebrity cameos, felt tacked on and pointless. Thankfully, as the story gets revved up, and the demand on your audience's attention is at a premium, you give up this practice.

Which is not to say that the story was at all comprehensible, even with an attentive audience. One scene followed another without any notion of coherence. From what I can tell, the story revolved around Austin having to save his father from an evil villain from the 1970's who was brought back to the year 2002 by another evil villain whose evil scheme is foiled and is sent to jail where he hatches an escape plan to... ugh! I'm getting a headache. If it were at all worthwhile trying to extract some logic from this tangled mess, then I'd give it the college try. But I suspect that would be an exercise in futility.

I still haven't talked about your performance in the film, Mike. Or, should I say, performances. This whole multiple-role-playing schizophrenic acting style you've latched on to is just fine. Alec Guinness did it. Peter Sellers (one of your idols, I know) did it. Even fellow SNL-alum Eddie Murphy has done it. All with unquestioned success. Mike, you have as much talent for characterization as any of these men, and I'm glad that you've found a vehicle for your talents. The problem here is that what started as just two characters, and then three, has now become four. You're spreading yourself way too thin, Mike. You've left no room for the rest of your cast to shine. I can't imagine why Robert Wagner or Mindy Sterling or Michael York bothered to show up for this film. Besides loyalty, that is. You give them nothing to do! And what do you replace their screen time with? The inane and idiotic title character. Goldmember the man -- like "Goldmember" the movie -- has precious few funny moments. The rest of his time on screen is humiliating: to the performers who must share the screen with him, to the audience who paid to watch this drivel, and to you, Mike, for debasing yourself. When it comes to Austin himself -- who I always felt was one of the weaker characters in the series -- I ask you, Mike, please: TONE IT DOWN A SHADE! Not every line reading needs to be punctuated with a purr or a "Yeah, baby!" You're too smart to be this obnoxious.

(Here's where I throw in a compliment: Dr. Evil is, as always, a hilarious creation. Too bad he's almost non-existent here. There. Palette cleansed. Now, back to the vitriol.)

Despite all evidence to the contrary, there are other people in "Goldmember"s cast besides you, Mike. Let's talk about them for a while.

The usual suspects (Wagner, York, Sterling, Troyer, Seth Green) are, as usual, quite suspect. Green, to his credit, does not embarrass himself. Which I can't say about the two top-billed newcomers.

Michael Caine is the perfect choice to play Austin's father. Here he's like Alfie after an espresso binge, all manic motion and wild shenanigans. But Caine doesn't emerge unscathed from this mess. He's a man who has two Oscars and once shared equal billing with Sir Laurence Olivier... but you make him act a particularly humiliating scene with Verne Troyer! Is this his karmic retribution for having appeared in "Jaws: The Revenge"? Didn't the Steven Seagal movie he made take care of that?

Beyonce Knowles was in this movie. I think. She says "Shazam" a couple of times. And she kept asking, "What's happening?" And I think at one point she even said, "Shut your mouth". Other than that, it was a totally unmemorable performance. I thought the blandness that Heather Graham showed in "The Spy Who Shagged Me" could not be topped (or, bottomed), but Beyonce found a new low. Still, she looks good in a cut off shirt, so that's at least one point in her favour.

In closing, let me just say this, Mike: You've made the most cynical movie of the year. It pains me to say this, because in interviews you come across as an intelligent, creative, dignified man, with a lust for comedy and a yearning to create something new and different. Time to put the old International Man of Mystery back in deep freeze, get back to the drawing board, and think up something new.

A once and future fan,

Mike

Description of Austin Powers in Goldmember