Ants
by Robert Scheerer
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DVD details
Actor: Barry Van Dyke, Bernie Casey, Gerald Gordon, Lynda Day George, Robert FoxworthDirector: Robert Scheerer
Cinematographer: Bernie Abramson
Editor: George Folsey Jr.
Producer: Alan Landsburg
Producer: Peter Nelson
Writer: Guerdon Trueblood
DVD: Region Code 1
Audio: English (Unknown); English (Original Language)
Format: Color, DVD, NTSC
Picture Format: 1.33:1
Running Time: 100 minutes
DVD Release Date: 2006-06-06
Audience Rating: Unrated
Studio: Direct Source Label
DVD Reviews of Ants
DVD Review: Lakewood Manor, your vacation destination!
Summary: 2 Stars
It Happened at Lakewood Manor (Robert Scheerer, 1977)
Picture it. Pittsburgh, 1977. I was over at a friend's house doing something or another. As I was walking out the door to go home, his parents were watching TV. I saw just a scene. It traumatized me. We're talking nightmares for weeks. I had no idea what it was. Fast-forward twenty years later, to the glory of the Internet and its many film geeks. I describe the scene on a forum, and presto-- someone comes up with the name of this movie. I worship. Fast-forward another eleven years, to last night-- yes, it took me that long to get my hands on a copy-- when I watched it. I was once again traumatized, but for very, very different reasons.
Ecohorror schlockmeister Guerdon Trueblood (Candy Snatchers) wrote the screenplay for this Robert Scheerer (The World's Greatest Athlete)-directed dog about mutant ants menacing a resort. Ethel Adams (Myrna Loy) has been running it for decades, with a helping hand from daughter Valerie (Lynda Day George) since infirmity forced her into a wheelchair. A shady developer (Bernie Casey) and his gorgeous assistant (Suzanne Somers, who gets top billing despite having relatively little screen time) want to buy the resort so said developer can put up a big, glitzy lakeside casino. Meanwhile, a nearby construction project (whose overseer, Mike [Robert Foxworth], is having an affair with Valerie) has disturbed, yes, a vast nest of mutant ants. And boy, are those ants mad. When the Department of Health gets involved, things get all kinds of fun.
Oh, Guerdon Trueblood, how I love thee. How long did it take you to bang this script out, an hour? Less? It's quite nicely summed up by one of the characters, inserted into the movie just so the ants will have another target, who says breathlessly to her new boyfriend, "and to think, this morning I didn't even know you." (Later that morning, however, they knew one another very, very well. Ah, the swingin' seventies.) the characters are far too thin to be cardboard. Onionskin, perhaps. The plot is about as solid as an acid-eaten piece of PVC pipe. The music (the only score to which Ken Richmond's name was ever attached, at least according to IMDB) comes straight out of the adult film industry. Can say one good thing about it: the ant special effects are about a thousand times better than those of more recent killer-ant CGI-fests on the Sci-Fi Channel. (I assume that real ants were used for most of the shots; amusingly, whatever they used to get the ants where they wanted them was painted in swirls, and so you see meandering rivers of ants wandering down, say, a hotel corridor. I kept wondering why everyone was so scared of a six-inch-wide trail of ants working its way down a six-foot-wide hallway. Why not just step around them?)
This is, truly, an awful movie in every respect, but I have to admit-- the kid-in-the-dumpster scene that gave me such nightmares when I was nine years old? Yeah. That still creeped me right the [censored for Amazon consumption] out. **
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